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Excerpt from the SSS: Sartosa Grog-Swillers @ Skolcrushers

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10th Match : The Grog-Swillers Butt Heads Against the Skolcrushers at Upper Sand Bank Stadium Written by Jack Penleg Ahoy mateys! We finally reach the end of the season, with the Grog-Swillers facing the Skolcrushers in lustrious Lustria. It is clear that the team has faced a difficult season but they have gone up by leaps and bounds in the latter half of the season, holding their own against a whole host of formidable teams during the run up to post-season. Grog-Swillers are more or less confirmed to be in the Piewhistle trophy rather than the main tournament run-off, but it is clear that they have built a cadre of formidable Ogres along the way.  Bootem has been a dependable leader on the field, Beatem, the most recent replacement, has managed to learn how to block multiple opponents at once, Grindem is a dependable front-line brawler who can break free in a pinch, Chugem is a formidable defensive player that can easily guard his team-mates, and our star player Gougem is able to ...

Excerpt from the SSS: Van Killa Ice Ice Gobbos @ Sartosa Grog-Swillers

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9th Match : Battle Of The Goblins as the Grog-Swillers Face The Van Killa Ice Ice Gobbos At Land-Lubbers Stadium Written by Armando Blackquill/Jack Penleg Avast mateys! It is very much clear to me that Coach Coachem is not the Ogre that we need to lead the Grog-Swillers, considering that we are now pretty much out of contention for any possible playoffs picture and likely only able to compete for the Piewhistle Cup instead. As such, dear readers, you will be able to find a coupon that you can tear out, fill in and send as a complaint to the Grog-Swillers, requesting the dismissal of Coach Coachem. I have been notified that the official response by the Coach to any petition of his dismissal will be "ME EAT ALL COMPLAINERS" but I think that if enough people complain, it will not be possible for the Coach to eat us all! His stomach is only big enough for a couple! Together we are strong and- They are tak-sajdghsdklfasfrieigjlsasd. Dear readers, please excuse us as our regular Sp...

Excerpt from the SSS: Sartosa Grog-Swillers @ Scrummy Mummies

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8th Match : Grog-Swillers Bear The Heat At Dead-Beat Stadium Written by Armando Blackquill Avast mateys! It's time for another match report, as after a relatively successful couple of matches, managing their first win followed by a draw, the Grog-Swillers now face the mighty Scrummy Mummies, a Tomb Kings team hailing from the hot and dusty region of Khemri. The ironically named Dead-Beat Stadium is to host the bout, and it's clear that with at least a little bit of momentum on their side, the Grog-Swillers will give their all in an attempt to win the match. It is clear, however, that a draw in this situation will not be enough, as the end of the season is approaching fast and if the Grog-Swillers don't manage to win the game, their hopes for the playoffs are going to be dashed.  In order to achieve this goal, the Grog-Swillers have been going on a training regiment, with several of the Ogres learning how to use their brute strength to swipe aside anyone marking them. Also, ...

Excerpt from the SSS: S'Elf Flagellation @ Sartosa Grog-Swillers

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7th Match : S'Elf Flagellation Face The Meat-Grinder at Landlubbers Stadium Written by Armando Blackquill Avast mateys! Things are looking up for the Grog-Swillers as they finally manage to get their first win against in the DBL, and although a lot of that win was due to Karla Von Kill, it's still clear that getting into the second half of the league with at least one win under their belt will do wonders for the morale of the Grog-Swillers. Hopefully this can be turned into a winning streak and even potentially give the Grog-Swillers a chance to make the playoffs (although, to be honest, this seems like a remote possibility). The Grog-Swillers had had some training in the coming weeks, with Grindem learning how to brawl properly in the line of scrimmage, while Coach Coachem has been firiing some of the more useless Gnoblars and replacing them with fresh ones. A couple of them learnt some good defensive maneuvers, but it's unclear if this is going to help in the upcoming gam...

Excerpt from the SSS: Sartosa Grog-Swillers @ Upside Down Shadows

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6th Match : Grog-Swillers Become Confused against the Upside Down Shadows at Preece Pack Dungeon Stadium Written by Armando Blackquill Avast mateys! We are now in the second half of the conference for our boys in Teal and I have to say that their performance on the pitch has been less than stellar. Management at Landlubbers Stadium have already made motions against Coach Coachem, telling him that if he doesn't at least get one win during the season, there will be repercussions once the League ends, to which our ex-Captain had only this as a reply: "But me boys crunch lots!". We can see that his heart is in the right place, but that still doesn't excuse the poor performance of the Grog-Swillers. Still, it is clear that at least some of the training is paying off. Chugem, taking on from the late Smashem Bones (may he rest in peace), has learnt how to use his brute strength to break tackles, which should allow him to break open from markers much more reliably. As well as...

Excerpt from the SSS: Gnaw-Wich Skitty @ Sartosa Grog-Swillers

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   5th Match : Gnaw-wich Skitty skitter about against the Grog-Swillers at Landlubbers Stadium Written by Armando Blackquill Avast mateys! We are in the middle of the conference stage and it seems that Coach Coachem still hasn't really managed to whip the boys into shape. Although their previous game against Rock the CAS-Box had been a close-fought one, it was clear that the loss of Smashem had affected the team badly, and what could have potentially been a close win turned into a defeat. Still, there are glimmers of hope and with the first half of the conference done, many fans are confident that the Grog-Swillers will turn it around and have a winning season in the back half! This week the Grog-Swillers will be facing Gnaw-wich Skitty, a team of dastardly Skaven: rat-men are known as some of the fastest teams in the league and it's going to be difficult for our lads to slow them down at the start, but hopefully as the game goes on, the pure brutality of the Ogres will take i...

Excerpt from the SSS: Sartosa Grog-Swillers @ Rock the CAS-Box

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  4th Match : Grog-Swillers fight Rock the CAS-Box at the Casualty Box Written by Armando Blackquill Avast mateys! Welcome to another episode in the saga of our suffering boys in teal. With the drubbing that they suffered against the Lil Creepers, it was clear that our plucky Ogres really need to step up and actually win some games, especially considering that we are getting to the middle of the conference stage of the league. Unfortunately, the next fixture would make them confront the Orcs of Rock the CAS-Box, and having faced Orcs before, this was always going to be a tough match for the Grog-Swillers. Fortunately, Coach Coachem had some plans in this regard. Smashem had received a bit of extra training, and with the firm instruction of "You just move away from bad guys", hopefully he would be able to get in better positions and break some tackles thanks to just his immense strength. As well as that, the gnoblar that the Ogres had been using for target practice, one known ...