Excerpt from the SSS: Gnaw-Wich Skitty @ Sartosa Grog-Swillers
5th Match:
Gnaw-wich Skitty skitter about against the Grog-Swillers at Landlubbers Stadium
Written by Armando Blackquill
Avast mateys! We are in the middle of the conference stage and it seems that Coach Coachem still hasn't really managed to whip the boys into shape. Although their previous game against Rock the CAS-Box had been a close-fought one, it was clear that the loss of Smashem had affected the team badly, and what could have potentially been a close win turned into a defeat. Still, there are glimmers of hope and with the first half of the conference done, many fans are confident that the Grog-Swillers will turn it around and have a winning season in the back half!
This week the Grog-Swillers will be facing Gnaw-wich Skitty, a team of dastardly Skaven: rat-men are known as some of the fastest teams in the league and it's going to be difficult for our lads to slow them down at the start, but hopefully as the game goes on, the pure brutality of the Ogres will take its toll.
Gnaw-wich Skitty: Analysis
Gnaw-wich Skitty apparently hail from an underground lair nestled under the city of "Norwich". I have personally never heard of this city either in the Old World or the New, but they are adamant that they come from there. Still, these are Skaven we are talking about and thanks to their duplicitous nature, anything they say can be taken with a huge pinch of salt. The provenance of the second part of their name is, at least, a little bit more obvious.
In terms of their record in the conference, Gnaw-wich Skitty have split it down the middle in their last four matches, with two wins and two losses. They come into the match with a missing gutter runner and a thrower, but with a new Rat Ogre, the appropriately named Git. Their star player is Remy, who's a deft hand at blocking. but the stormvermin of the team are also no slouches, with Ben being known for his mighty blocks and Rizzo being able to guard and assist his team-mates.
With a couple of players down from the regulation 11 players, Gnaw-wich Skitty had to scout around for some journeyman to fill their roster, but even with them, they have plenty of star power in their ranks to make the match a difficult one for the Grog-Swillers, especially when considering their speed and dexterity.
Match Analysis
Landlubbers Stadium had a perfect forecast throughout the match, with glorious summer sunshine only occasionally parted by clouds. There was a small surprise when the match started, however: due to the loss of one of their key players, the League had seen fit to help the Grog-Swillers by sending a true legend to help their roster, and the Grog-Swillers found themselves starting the game with Karla von Kill in their lineup. It is clear that having such a fearsome player in their midst will do a lot to help the Grog-Swillers win the match.
The game also featured the presence of the team mascot, which had (for once) managed to extricate himself from the taverns that crowded around Landlubbers stadium. The mascot's costume is one of an ogre with a beer stein in his hand, but it was clear that even though he was on the sidelines, whoever was in the costume was still drinking surreptitiously, and thus did little to lift the spirits of either the team or the fans. Fortunately, the mascot had brought with them many kegs of Bloodweiser as well, so it was not all bad!
First Half
Gnaw-wich Skitty won the toss and elected to receive the ball in the first half, and gave a difficult decision for the Grog-Swillers as they would either have to pack the line of slaughter with Ogres, which would mean that the Skaven would have an easy time going around them, or simply place Gnoblars on the line in order to create a stronger second line. After some deliberating, Coach Coachem decided on the latter. As the kick went up in the air, the Skaven attacked and obviously the Gnoblar front line was no match for them, with one Gnoblar being knocked out and Gitoutawai sent to the casualty bin by Git the Rat Ogre: this was the third trip to the box for Gitoutawai, and it was clear that his fragile Gnoblar body was worse for wear.
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| Rat ogre goes down and a cagey start! |
The response from the Grog-Swillers and especially Karla was swift, however. With Git slightly out of position, Karla went in for the kill, and with the assist of Bootem, sent the Rat Ogre flying back in a marvelous display of talent, knocking out the large mutant rat for the rest of the game. Karla had already proved her deadly reputation on the pitch. The rest of the Grog-Swillers did not engage, however, and continued forming a screen to prevent Gnaw-wich Skitty from infiltrating.
The match slowed down at this point, with neither team committing to the engagement, but in the middle of the first half, Gnaw-Wich Skitty finally saw an opening, with Bootem being a bit too exposed: the Skaven swarmed him, sending him to the ground, although no worse for wear, and with an opening in the line, the gutter runners infiltrated easily. The Grog-Swillers attempted to rally and react to the breach, with Karla swinging into the middle of the action, but the nimbleness and dexterity of the gutter runners and the sheer talent of Remy in holding the ball meant that their attempts were largely for nought. Some of the Skaven were knocked out, however, and in an attempt to get their players to recover, Gnaw-wich Skitty opted for a relatively quick score.
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| The kick is in the air! |
Setting up for a drive of their own, the Gnoblars somehow managed to catch the ball directly from the kick-off thanks to a quick snap by their players, and the rest of the Gnoblars formed a screen around the ball carrier. Meanwhile, the Ogres set about their grim business, and one of the Journeyman linerats was sent to the casualty box, instantly regretting his decision to join Gnaw-wich in this game. Another one of the linerats was also knocked out, and the Skaven were starting to feel their number disadvantage.
Gnaw-wich Skitty was quick to react, however, and with the sidelines relatively clear, created a screen between the Gnoblars in the back and the Ogres (and Karla) in the front lines. However, Karla blitzed one of the gutter runners forming the screen, pushing them back and creating a hole, and the Gnoblars were able to hand off the ball to the waiting arms of Stopsquirming. Bootem sent the Gnoblar flying towards the Gnaw-wich endzone, and the kick was relatively well placed. Unfortunately, Stopsquirmin was unable to stick the landing, and the whistle for the half was blown, dashing the hopes for an equalizing score.
Second Half
The Ogres were due to receive in the second half: Coach Coachem received information that the referee would be amenable to some sort of bribe by either side, but with few fouling opportunities presenting themselves, the bribes would end up unrealised. Most of the Gnaw-wich Skitty players that had been knocked out did not wake up from their slumber, and with a healthy supply of Gnoblars, the Grog-Swillers had every chance to equalise. Although a fast score would have been possible, the speed of the Skaven would make it very difficult for the Ogres to get the ball back, and thus the team opted for a draw. Recovering the ball easily, the Gnoblars moved to the middle of the field, and although Rizzo the stormvermin did manage to badly injure Yudere (of leaping fame), the Skaven were unable to touch the Ogre cage, although their numbers were equalised by some of the Gnoblars getting knocked out.
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| The Ogres standing around dazed and confused! |
Even with the help of Karla, the fact that the rest of the team was not doing much of anything meant that Gnaw-wich had an easy time penetrating through, and thus they made an easy score, making the match 0-2. With basically no chance to equalise, the Grog-Swillers attempted to set up to score, but the Gnoblars were unable to pick up the ball, and the only glimmer of hope was Chugem Drinks managing to seriously injure Ratasha, a Skaven linerat. The whistle was blown and the hopes for the Grog-Swillers were once again dashed.
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