Excerpt from the SSS: Lil Creepers @ Sartosa Grog-Swillers

3rd Match:

Lil Creepers face the Grog-Swillers at Landlubbers Stadium (Sponsored By Captain Mogren)

Written by Armando Blackquill

Avast mateys! Welcome to another thrilling installment of the Sartosa Grog-Swillers match reports. Our plucky ogres have yet to win a match within their conference but there are hopes that in the upcoming match they will manage to make some headway: so far the Grog-Swillers have faced teams that could almost match them strength to strength and crunch to crunch, but the next fixture for them is against the Lil Creepers, a team hailing from the far orient but with hopefully weaker players that the Grog-Swillers can smash through and thus make them regret ever stepping in Landlubbers Stadium.

There had been some team training going on with the Grog-Swillers, with two of the Gnoblars showing some aptitude towards leaping and jumping, although Coach Coachem didn't really know how useful a leaping gnoblar would actually be.

Lil Creepers: Analysis

The Lil Creepers hail from exotic Cathay, from the city of Xing-Po, where long they have squabbled both amongst themselves as well as the Cathay themselves. They became a team after finding a tome of nuffle while ransacking the Great Observatory, and decided that they would worship Nuffle in their own way by forming a team. The team bills itself as an Underworld Denizens team, with the Skaven contingent of it pretty much the same as our more well-known western ratmen. The goblins of the team, however, have taken more eastern ways, taking the garb of ninjas and geishas alike, but instead of a familiar troll, the Lil Creepers have managed to employ a vicious eastern Oni, although it does not appear to be much smarter than a troll. Along with this oni, a coterie of smaller mini-onis have followed it, with them not being much bigger (or stronger) than a regular snotling.

In terms of their previous match record, the Lil Creepers had managed to win decisively against Papa Pow, winning 2-0 against the nurgle team that had previously faced the Grog-Swillers, but they had managed only a 1-1 draw against Rock the Cas-Box, an orc team that our Ogres had yet to face.

Match Analysis

There had been forecasts of rain prior to the kick-off, and once the match started, the rain kept on for much of first half, although there was a ray of sunshine at the end. As such, the lighting at Landlubbers stadium was not very conducive to pictographs, so apologies for the darkly cast pictures within this report.

There had been rumours that prior to the match, a couple of bribes had been prepared by the Lil Creepers to sweeten some of the refs at the match, but no bribes were noticed during the match itself, so these might just be scurrilous rumours.

First Half

Ready for kick-off!

Winning the coin toss, the Grog-Swillers elected to kick the ball, with Coach Coachem deciding that ti was important to be able to decide the momentum of the game within the second half. Deciding that a screen against the agile Gutter Runner Zuxkun Silvershriker was more important than holding the line of slaughter, Gnoblars were packed into the line, with the Ogre remaining back in order to make it harder for the tricksy Skaven to infiltrate the line. 

The game started with the Gnoblar front line being crunched, with one of the Gnoblarts, Kikemlow, being almost immediately sent to the injury bin after a bone-crunching blitz from Zueek Wildseeker. Although there were some initial ball-handling issues for the Lil Creepers, the Grog-Swillers were unable to really do much about it as Bootem remained dazed by the incessant rain. Finally able to gather the ball, and with the Ogres finally getting stuck in and injuring one of the mini-Onis known as Knavekwast, the Lil Creepers gathered at the back before penetrating into the Grog-Swillers side of the pitch near one of the sidelines. Although one Ogre and one gnoblar were on route to intercept, Zuxkun the gutter runner was just too slippery and easily managed to get past the lumbering Ogre, and scored one for the Lil Creepers.

With the Grog-Swillers not receiving the ball, the weather finally broke and glorious sunshine returned to Landlubbers Stadium. The ball was kicked directly in the waiting arms of one of the gnoblars, that quickly moved up the field. A brawl erupted in the center of the field, with casualties on both sides as Upegoes and Cilkineell from the Grog-Swillers and Lil Creepers respectively were sent to the injury bin, but finally a hole opened up in the center and the gutter runner was blitzed, sending him finally to the floor.

Wanting to advance, the Grog-Swillers formed a cage in the middle, but one inopportune slip by one of the gnoblars trying to enter a position to screen the ball carrier gave the Lil Creepers a chance, and the gnoblar holding the ball was swiftly blitzed, sending the ball flying loose. Seeing an opportunity, Numper, one of the mini-Onis, picked up the ball and advanced towards the end zone of the Grog-Swillers. Not wanting to concede another touchdown, one of the Ogres attempted to blitz the diminutive player, only to almost slip and slide: Numper, sensing an opportunity, kicked the Ogre squarely on the head, knocking him out cold. Fortunately, Mendem the apothecary was on hand to pump the Ogre full of painkillers and send him back to the bench.

With the field clear, Numper handed off the ball to Zueek, a Skaven clanrat, who was quick to score, making the score 2-0 for the Lil Creepers. With very little time left, the Grog-Swillers attempted to at least get one score before the half was over, but a slip on the still-wet grass prevented any chance of scoring before the whistle was blown.

Second Half

Start of the second half

With the Grog-Swillers receiving the ball at the start of the second half, Coach Coachem hoped that a swift score would be in the cards in order to allow the Grog-Swillers to at least equalize, but it was clear that the Lil Creepers had other plans. As soon as the ball was in the air, the Lil Creepers blitzed the gnoblar near where the ball would land, managing to knock him down (but not out). As the ball finally came down, Zuxkun the gutter runner handily caught the ball in the air. The half had barely begun and the Grog-Swillers were already in dire straits. Fortunately a swift blitz from the Ogres managed to knock down the tricksy gutter runner, while the rest of the team did what they did best: smash as many opponents as possible, with tackles from both Bootem and Smashem sending the hero Numper into the injury bin, along with the skaven clanrat Khokch. While the ref was looking the other way, Yudere the gnoblar also stuck the boot into the gutter runner several times, although he didn't manage to do much more than stun him.

The Grog-Swillers swiftly recovered the ball and surrounded the ball-carrier with ogres and gnoblars, a screen that the Lil Creepers were unable to penetrate. Wanting an early touchdown, Coach Coachem called for Stopsquirming to be launched up the pitch while still carrying the ball, which was done successfully and the little gnoblar ran up the field and scored, bringing the score down to 2-1.

Although a lot of time was remaining in the second half, the rest of the match was a comedy of errors on both sides. As the kick went relatively deep, the Lil Creepers were completely unable to pick up the ball, but on the other hand, it was clear that the match had gone on for too long for some of the Ogre players, who decided to stand around and not do much of anything, even after a lot of shouting from Coachem to get on with it. With several ignored calls to kick and throw some gnoblars downfield, and the Lil Creepers unable to even pick up the ball apart from the very end, the game ended with a fizzle, and the score of 2-1 remained, with the Lil Creepers managing to secure the win.

Post-Match Analysis

There were several mistakes from the Grog-Swillers that sealed the deal for this match, especially during the first half where they had every chance of scoring if they had just been more patient or had protected the ball better. The Lil Creepers played well and managed to exploit every opportunity that the Grog-Swillers gave them. The Grog-Swillers will need to start scoring victories, however, or the chances to make the play-offs will be lost if they do not manage to even up the scoreboards.